Ynnell - The Mystical Princess of Yor (con.)

"You do," he replies. "When you were born a twin was also born, but your twin was stillborn and her soul has been watching you, caring for you, all these years. Your twin sister and you will now inhabit the same body, in this way she will always be there to remind you of the good that is even in that world and of the care that people have, even when they are not always able to do what they want so much to do."

At that moment there was a loud explosion, everything went black, and the next thing that Ynnell knew she was lying on a straw cot in the middle of a peasant hut. Standing over her were two peasants, a man and a woman. They look down at her, sympathy in their eyes, wondering what they should do next.

Ynnell looks around and begins to scream and scream and scream, "I will not stay here! I will go back to Yor now! ... or ... I will die!" Her screaming goes on for hours and hours, until time itself is lost to her, and all the while the peasants watch over her, concern and love on their faces.

Down deep Ynnell can hear her sister, "Relax, be calm, these people love you; will care for you; are caring for you. You can return to Yor when you are well ... then you can live in that beautiful place once again."

Ynnell screams at her sister, "Shut up! Go away, I didn't ask for you to join me. I don't want you here! I never wanted you here!" She tells her again and again to go away and leave her alone that she doesn't trust her anymore than she has trusted any of the others.

Finally Ynnell drifts into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning all night long. When she awakes she finds the peasant couple leaning over her bed, cooling her brow with a damp cloth and rubbing warmth into her body. She screams at them, "Leave me alone! Leave this room and never return!" They leave and Ynnell buries her head into the straw of her bed, crying for the lost Land of Yor and a return to the only home she knew.

As time goes by Ynnell, under the prodding of her sister, tries to adjust to the world of the peasants. But, she seems hurt by the kindnesses they try to show her and afraid of the beauty she sometimes finds in the land. She notices how little they seem to have and yet how freely they share it with her. She feels anger toward them, as they are a symbol for what she has lost. She hurts them in many ways both small and large, striking out at both the beauty they try to bring into her life and the kindnesses they try to show her. When they fail her, she uses it as proof that they really don't care, and chooses to remember these times she feels hurt by them, instead of the times they have tried so hard to help.

Time passes and the anger inside of her turns into a deep sense of guilt and unworthiness. She holds it within, afraid of sharing it with anyone, afraid of what they will say about her, believing that they will taunt her, tell her that she deserves to feel this way after all the pain she has caused them. She becomes afraid, knows, that will never be able to return to the Land of Yor. Finally, one night, she can stand it no longer and she runs from her room telling that she will never return, that she never wants to see them again, that she knows that they will never be able to forgive her for what she has done.

She runs deep into the forest, past all of the places she has grown to know over the time she has spent there, and on into places she has never seen before. Thunder, lightning, and rain begin, as if the world itself was feeling her pain. Now fear replaces guilt and in her fright she runs deeper and deeper into the forest, falling many times, skinning her knees, tearing her dress, and splashing mud all over her body. She runs without thought for where she has been, or where she is going, losing all sense of time and even consciousness as to what she is doing. Finally, she passes out and falls to the ground, tired, beaten, and ready to die.

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